But, she said, there's just one hitch…. If it wasn’t for her, I would have found my first experience at the Mosque unbearable. When he finally did ring me, he couldn’t apologise enough. Both families refused to financially contribute to the ceremony, so eventually they had a very small service at their local Mosque in Bradford, attended by Nadheer's immediate family (albeit begrudgingly) and two of Aliyah’s school friends. She disapproves of how I am raising him and I’m scared that she would take him away from me. for love? Personally I feel that if you know it's a dealbreaker from the get-go, you should be honest about it upfront and not hedge later down the road when you get pressure from your family/religious community. Me and my current boyfriend have been together for almost a two years now. Thus "religious conversion" would describe the abandoning of adherence to one denomination and affiliating with another. In Summary. We moved in with his parents temporarily and Nadheer wanted me to stay at home and get pregnant straight away. You can’t dictate anyone’s religion, including your own. Have you dated someone whose religion was different than yours? To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Despite coming from a white, Christian, middle-class family, Bradford’s high Asian population provided her with a rich understanding of other religions and cultures. "I hastily blurted out that I would marry him if it meant we could be together", “For weeks, every time I received a text message I would close my eyes before checking who the sender was in the hope that his name would be on the screen. For this reason, Islam is th… Unfortunately, this wasn’t quite the case. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. He is Muslim and I am Christian...technically. “In my head, I had completely romanticised the idea of meeting Nadheer's family. Before the sun went down on the first day of Ramadan, Aliyah was invited to Mosque with the female members of Nadheer's family and their community. Would You Ever Convert Religions for Love? “We were extremely close while I was growing up,” Aliyah recalls. Why? She was completing her A-Levels and had been conditionally offered a position studying pharmaceuticals at the University of Nottingham. “I was desperately unhappy being away from my family. “He replied that marrying me would make him the happiest man in the world, but his family would ostracise him if he married a ‘non-believer’, and a white one at that. As they fall in love and get married, many are re-introduced to religion via the faith of their partners — and some end up converting. They insisted on arranging a marriage for him the same week. Tensions did thaw slightly when Aliyah found out she was pregnant exactly four weeks after her wedding. When we – a Muslim and a Christian – fell in love, we didn’t think much about the differences in our religions. "The younger girls, including Nadheer's sisters, were very cliquey and cast patently obvious bitchy glances towards me at all times. Just give him a chance!". I got in my mother’s car and told her to just drive.”, Arriving home was a weird feeling at first. share. First Mr. Lacrosse who sniped at me for not praying before meals, and now this quandary! Why convert to a different religion? my friend Meredith squealed, "I have got the PERFECT guy for you!" 0 1. orla. Love at times makes you do things that sometimes you may perhaps regret. I was in so much pain and knowing that she was around was really aggravating me. My friend took me to her uncle’s Asian apparel store to get my first hijab and I felt incredibly cultivated. "He also grew up in Southern California, and he has season tickets to the Rangers. The shamrock is one plant, yet has three leaves that … She has a fractured relationship with her mother, but it's a work in progress. The Arabic word ‘Islam’ means ‘submission’, and isderived from a word meaning ‘peace’. He was older than me and he seemed so cultured and mature. She thought I was being reckless while I thought she was being unsupportive.”. But now US Weekly has revealed that she does associate with one religion, after converting to Judaism before marrying her husband Jacob Pechenik. I hadn’t rehearsed the prayers enough to know them off-by-heart. As for the 1+1+1=1 that is simple. Perhaps this is because so many cultures are patriarchal. I would never convert religions because it's a matter of principle for me - I'm not even religious at all so I don't know why this bothers me a bit, honestly. “Out of the eight of us in my friendship group, only two of us were from white, British families,” she explains. He was really romantic and I was very much under his spell within a few weeks, so what happened next came as quite a blow.”, On her 18th birthday in March 2013, Aliyah had arranged to meet Nadheer for the first time at a Nando’s in Bradford. “As soon as I saw her I started to really freak out. In name of conversion, UP ‘love jihad’ law targets inter-faith unions The Uttar Pradesh Prohibition of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Ordinance, 2020, promulgated last week, specifically prohibits any conversion for marriage, even if it is with the consent of the individual except when prior sanction is obtained from the state. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. 81% Upvoted. This set the tone for my entire experience with his family – they saw me merely as an imposter trying to invade their safely guarded team.”, In an attempt to get both sides of her family to take her seriously, Aliyah and Nadheer sped up their engagement and got married as soon as possible. "Islam has taught me a lot of important things; family is everything to them, and maybe that's why they found it difficult to accept me so readily. Aliyah’s parents at first found her decision humorous and paid little attention to it until she began wearing her headscarf. “I lost my virginity to him a week after our wedding – I was too overwhelmed at first to even think about sex and regardless, I didn’t feel comfortable around Nadheer for a while. He drank alcohol on nights out with his mates and he wasn’t concerned about eating non-Halal meat. For any relationship to work, it needs you both to put in 50/50. But ehhhh…we kind of seem doomed from the start—I would never switch religions for a guy, and I don't expect him to do that for me. My personal belief is that to truly love someone, we must accept them as they are. Anonymous . Too bad for you that the BNP didn't do so well in the recent election. The only people who … “Whenever I start to get depressed about it all, I just look at my baby and I remember that at least I’ve got him” she smiles, nursing him on her lap. Her mother was thrilled about her daughter’s first real date, and the pair spent hours choosing an outfit, curling Aliyah’s hair and learning how to stick on false eyelashes. We will have to endure many more since he is in the military. Amrita, originally a Sikh converted to Islam… I admitted all of this to Nadheer as we were leaving the hospital.”. She knew in her heart that she didn’t love Nadheer as she should, but she was terrified of admitting it and looking like she had strung him along. For the entire journey home I stared out of the window with tears burning down my cheeks.”. If … The word conversion is said to be as old as religion itself and any study of religion is incomplete without studying about religious conversions as well. 55 comments. © 2020 Condé Nast. You can carry out all of the practices, implement all of the policies, and still not truly, unreservedly believe in what you are doing.”, But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and while Aliyah doesn’t regret her decision – saying she "cannot be ashamed of it" because she has her son as a result – she is remorseful of how quickly it all happened. In my opinion, seeking this truth has nothing to do with the earthly romantic love. converting to any religion (not only islam) just for loving some one is not allowed even in any religion even islam does not permitts u to do. It was hard to imagine that a matter of years ago this highly intelligent woman was prepared to launch into a marriage with a man she had never met. You will know more than many of your friends/family born into the religion. She wants to be a grandmother to my baby. There are aspects of it that I wholeheartedly believe, hold onto, and am determined to instil in my child. The atmosphere was uncomfortable but it was calm, which at that moment was all Aliyah wanted. “The older women were nice, with the exception of Nadheer's mother. Aliyah is 21 and lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire with her son Yasser, who is 20 months old. He thought a baby would be the ultimate confirmation to his family that this relationship was sincere. The religion wholly encourages generosity, kindness and loyalty and for many, converting can be a beautiful process. Should i convert religion for love? Which celeb reportedly considered converting for a girl? “We wanted to change my name immediately, but decided to wait until I was married and change my entire name altogether. Our fondness for each other grows immensely as time goes by and distance increases. my friend Meredith squealed, "I have got the PERFECT guy for you!" As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. He grew up with strong Christian teachings and I grew up Catholic. He was incredibly patient and considerate and my discomposure was in no way as a result of his behaviour, I was just simply terrified of living in a house full of strangers who deliberately communicated in a language that I didn’t understand, estranged from my parents and most of my friends, with my future suddenly planned out for me according to the expected criteria of a culture that I was being relentlessly shunned from.”, Although Nadheer's family were deliberately unaccommodating, Aliyah believes “that isn’t representative of Islam on a whole. Please follow me on Instagram: soundpills_by_pankaj Don't forget to subscribe on this channel and share love. I am not very religious (it isnt a huge deal to me). “I was a late developer and I didn’t really pay much attention to boys and make-up as a teenager, so the date with Nadheer was a pretty big deal to me. A very religious mother and actress, Portman, 32, has said before she … When Nadheer sent her a private message on Facebook, he was open and passionate about his Yemeni heritage. And things didn’t improve much after the wedding, either. Was it an issue or NBD? Aliyah was beginning to understand basic Arabic and made an effort to converse in the language where she could, even if it was merely saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. “Losing my relationship with my mum was the worst thing of all, but we are trying really hard to get things back on track. “They were excitedly making plans to shave my baby’s head and arranging his circumcision when I didn’t think I wanted any of these things to happen in the first place. At first it was really exciting. You cannot accept a religion unless you believe it to be your truth. 2 2. This ordinance makes unlawful religious conversion a non-bailable and cognisable offence. by salomycruz: 2:15pm On Jul 20, 2014; losprince: what religion are we converting here, and to which religion? I had presumed that they would welcome me with open arms, wholly appreciating the lifestyle changes that I had made in the name of love. All I wanted was for the pain to stop and to hold my baby in my arms.”, "I had put so much effort into making this relationship work, but the whole thing was a farce", After an agonisingly long and complicated labour, Yasser was born, and for a few short hours, Aliyah felt like her family was complete and perfect. You shouldn't convert just because of love or someone wants you to convert. Watching her juggle her toddler on her lap, Aliyah seems like the epitome of maturity and responsibility. I am sad that my child doesn’t get to see his father as much as he should, but it’s best for everyone. Everyone had arrived and she clearly wasn’t going to make it but I kept telling Nadheer we had to wait five more minutes, just in case she arrived.”, "I was terrified of living with strangers who deliberately communicated in a language I didn't understand". If any one is not ready to accept the person whom s/he loves without any binding then there is not love! Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated 1/1/20) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated 1/1/20) and Your California Privacy Rights. “Nadheer's family weren’t celebrating. Re: Can You Convert Your Religion Because Of Love? There are some Bollywood actresses who have proved their love for their better half by converting their religion. Are you converting because you are in love, or are you converting because you are starting to believe what the church teaches? Continue this thread level 2. Would you convert your religion becuase your "love" demands it, or because you think you'll have better chances marrying your "love"? Did Kate just reveal her favourite emojis? As Christmas approached, Aliyah began to struggle with the cultural differences. But her excessive eagerness to enter into this relationship wasn’t the most controversial aspect. What it’s actually like to go on Love Is Blind, What it's really like to date a bisexual man, What it's REALLY like to be on The Undateables, What it's like to be a mother at university. It was her that suggested the name Yasser, as it was their grandfather’s name. Renters are only two pay cheques off from eviction, Kate Middleton on handling "toddler tantrums", Meghan and Harry are excited to decorate for Xmas, Cosmopolitan, Part of the Hearst UK Fashion & Beauty Network. When real-estate royalty Ivanka Trump married budding media mogul Jared Kushner in October, 2009, it wasn't their pre-nup that people were talking about. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time and together we have endured over three months without seeing each other. Our group is dealing with the interplay between law and religion and this project shall be focusing on religious conversions. Would you convert to another religion for love? Cosmopolitan participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. You cannot promise to believe another religion, because it isn’t that simple. Even to tell or ask for converting the religion is very odd thing because we have already entered in the era of spiritual life and upgradation! I hastily blurted out something incredibly misguided – that I would marry him if it meant we could be together.”. I was devastated at the thought of losing him. Yasser’s father, who Aliyah married when she was just 18, returned to his native Yemen shortly after the birth of their son. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. “I refused to believe that my mother wouldn’t come to my wedding, right up until the very last second. I couldn’t have been more wrong,” Aliyah recalls. “You hear of the ‘honeymoon period’, I had none of that. Advertisement By Elizabeth … Ad Choices. I rang my mother and asked her to pick me up from the petrol station at the top of the road – that was the first time I had spoken to her that year. But, she said, there's just one hitch… By … It was so childish, but I was transfixed by the idea of him. Love should be strong enough to keep you together. The subject of religion didn’t come up for quite a while – I knew that he was Muslim, but nothing about his lifestyle suggested he was extremely devout. But it’s made us so much stronger. What do you girls think: Should I give Ari a try or is it a no-go? Section 6 states that any marriage which was done for the sole purpose of unlawful conversion or vice-versa by the man of one religion with the woman of another religion, either by converting himself/herself before or after marriage or by converting the woman before or after marriage, shall be declared void by the family court or where the family court is not established, by the court … Aliyah’s father hugged her when she arrived home but avoided looking at her pregnant stomach. Nadheer was refusing to mediate and they weren’t prepared to compromise – they felt that if I was truly Muslim then these things would go without saying. A person decides to become part of a religion due to some sort of romantic interest. Over the ensuing months, the in-laws' enthusiasm over the baby became overbearing. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. Depending on how things pan out, and whether the love lasts as long as we hope it would, it may cause a lot of emotional distress and dissonance to the person. My mum insisted on waiting outside the restaurant for him to arrive to reassure herself that I was safe, and seeing her face when she had to admit to me that he clearly wasn’t going to turn up after an hour and a half of waiting was probably the most heart-breaking and humiliating aspect of the whole thing. "Oh em gee!" “I had put so much effort into making this relationship work, but truth be told, the whole thing was a farce. “He comes home to visit Yasser every six months, and we Skype often. When her waters broke in her childhood bedroom ten days later, her mother drove her to the hospital where Nadheer met her – alongside his mother. However, as spring turned to summer, he suddenly got back in touch. In the end, I packed my bags and walked out. He was shouting to me in Arabic but I could understand what he was saying – that I was betraying his family and his faith and if I left I would never be able to return. what religion are we converting here, and to which religion? Love sees no boundaries and can make you do anything for staying with your partner. Lv 5. How Pakistani films promote conversion of Hindu women Film Border Clip 1 Indian woman Preeti is chief guest at a boxing match in Dubai between a … The religion wholly encourages generosity, kindness and loyalty and for many, converting can be a beautiful process. I was pining for my mother and Yasser’s family were becoming more and more controlling. Aliyah’s pregnancy didn’t help her relationship with her own family, however. I allow Nadheer's mother to see Yasser on my terms, and I won’t let them spend time together unsupervised. I knew that I had disappointed Nadheer but right then I really didn’t care. I felt like I had no say over my own child, and Nadheer didn’t like to antagonise his mother so he tended to just keep out of the argument.”, "I rang my mother and asked her to pick me up... it was the first time I'd spoken to her that year", Things reached boiling point when Aliyah was eight months pregnant.
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